Dear Pipsqueaks,
Maybe I have been slightly bothered by work, or how work has been lately. I don't know, but as usual, writing may be able to help me solidify a few intangible thoughts. At least, that had been a successful way in the past, so here goes nothing.
With every climb, there are bound to be the ups and plateaus. I could very well likely have reached a plateau. I feel work has not been making the most out of me, or what I can do. Not to say that I feel trapped or limited, but more like 'wasted'. Yes, to do more work without an increase in salary isn't what most people will agree to, but I'd rather be DOING something than be wasted. I have come a long way since first stepping into the world of badminton. From a spectator at a highschool match, to a host at the World Juniors, to the head of the tournament desk at local tournaments, to the International Relations at a WSSF, to the Coordinator at the Gala - even I can't believe how far I've come. It's been a very interesting journey thus far, with a few moments I'd wish I could have avoided, but it's all a part of the experience. Agreed. So what now?
What is suppose to be more than this? Is there more than this? Where do I go from here? When is the next chapter to begin? How does it begin? Each answer ushers in more questions. That's life, I suppose.
Right now, I'm sitting at a bubble tea store, sipping on Red Bean Milk Tea while finishing up the only junk food I will have today - yes, I'm still on a strict diet but this time of the month allows me to slack a little - popcorn chicken. A movie feels like a good plan. Maybe I'll watch a few episode of my Chinese series 嵐陵王 (which by the way is AWESOME, so if you don't know what to watch, go with that one! Though I do have to agree the female character really does speak a little out of the norm for that period of history, but storyline-wise, it's pretty good), or actually get down to finishing my A3 poster print designs. Yes, I'll get to it eventually one Sunday.
Realization: I've become so comfortable being okay with how things are, I'm not pushing anymore.
Great. What happened to my motivations? Where did it all go? Am I forgetting my own goals? Maybe. Maybe I've let the sourness of work taint the other parts of my life, and cause me to be so 'hopeless'. I used to enjoy my work...
and I shall make it enjoyable again, somehow.
I have been scared to push for things, take those steps. But if I really think about, what can possible happen that's worse than this boredom? I did reach a plateau - it's not really possible to slip from here. So, up I shall go. The next challenge. Define. Evaluate. Conquer.
Wait for my good news :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and what do you know? I managed to talk some sense into myself! The power of Self Therapy.