Sometimes, people ask me why I would put myself through all this. U ask, what is "this" that I'm referring to? It's the undying hope that people will realize what they're doing is hurting me n could possibly change for the good. Boy, am I wrong when it comes to this. I mean, yah, I'm definitely an enthusiastic, glass half full, positron person- but, even that has a limit. In every way, life finds balance somehow, so even with so much hope, it will run empty trying to feed the dark blackhole of disappointments.
See, I've always believed in chipping in my side of the bill when it comes to friendship. For some reason, even people my age are still "lost" when it comes to what it takes to be a friend. No, it's not simply existing on someone's facebook (which by the way, if ur using for networking, that's totally ur choice. But give others the space to choose whether to accept or decline the invite. For me, I actually have to know u to make u a facebook friend, n that's just the way I roll. I may know u through a friend or whatever, but ur technically not my friend still. To be one, u'd have to clock in the effort n time to reach that status. Point: stop sending invites!) Anyways, as I was saying, u hv to make an effort for any relationship- be it parents, siblings, cousins, school friends, or whatever ur groups may be. I hate to say it, but every relationship requires attention n effort to maintain. No matter how long u have known the person or how close u are with them, understand that time can lighten all those footprints together, if not completely wipe it out of existence.
Now come to think of it, with all the technology available at the touch of ur fingers- mobile facebook, whatsapp, email, googlechat, msn, twitter (n the list goes on)- there's really no reason for not sending a short message just to say hi. It takes like what, maximum 1min to type up a short greetings n press send. I just don't understand how some people don't even have time for that. U may be waiting for the elevator, for ur food order, for ur morning coffee, for the streetlights...it takes seconds even. Having the fast communication methods possible, it boggles my mind! Yet, again n again, I find excuses for their "inactions". Not only do I write warning messages to remind people of their failing grades in our friendship- which only temporarily gets people moving- then back to square one like nothing happened.
Honestly, its just so much easier to forget it. Giving up never felt so good- just absolutely a relief n refreshment to let go of those people who don't make the effort to keep me around. It really took me a long time to get here, n through a lot of waiting n upsets. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if I just accepted people for their horrible friendship-maintaining-efforts, but I couldn't. Sometimes we expect from others cos we'd be just as willing to do the same. I'm willing, but obviously, it's a one-way situation. So u know what? I'd rather they aren't a part of my life now, cos I deserve to be happy. No more negative thoughts, disappointing excuses, unanswered messages. Zero effort.
Of course, this isn't just about virtual contact. It can also be a problem in a real-person way. Far worse? To friends that actually still live in the same city. Ur lucky that u guys are still physically able to meet, so why not take the advantage to? Are u waiting to be further apart to make the meet more worthwhile? Don't be silly. As we grow older, we'd only get further apart. With our own jobs n family, if ur not holding on to ur close friends with dear life, u will soon lose control with the ever changing surprises that life may throw at u. That's when u'll be thanking ur efforts, or be regretting that u didn't even bother. Just a reminder for those that haven't been putting in the effort: there's only so much one can take, n when its much easier to just let go, as much as its painful to, they will.
If u haven't figured out how to say it, I'll do the honours for u:
I, (ur name), has officially been worn out by this friendship. As it has been a one-sided commitment, I have spent more time attempting to maintain it than to enjoy it. Therefore, to do us both a favour, I am calling off the friendship as of the day this message has been sent. Thank u for allowing this decision to be made with so much ease with ur lack of effort and attention to me. Nonetheless, all the best wishes to u in the future without me.
Cheers, (ur name).
