Out of 2019 & Into 2020

Dear Pipsqueaks,

First couple of days into 2020, and I’m still trying to figure out what the plan is for 2020. Then I remember I always think clearer when I write down my thoughts, so here I am. Before diving into the new year, we gotta do what we gotta do – reflect on the year that just slipped by.

So, 2019. Really a year full of ridiculous challenges. Including trying to get legally married in two countries, planning for life pre & post-delivery, and finding out about some things that would have taken me down a totally different path.

BUT – you know what? Life is all about challenges. The moment you figured it out, is the moment life will give you another. So celebrate the wins, big or small.


Summary of 2019

Jan: Engagement
Feb: Registration
Mar: Realization
Apr: Melaka with BFF
May: Delivery & Motherhood
June: Confinement
July: Chillax
Aug: Back to Work
Sep: Bbz 1st Trip to Taiwan
Oct: 50hr Paris Trip & Bbz 1st Trip to Macau
Nov: Chillax
Dec: 2nd Final in Guangzhou & BBz 1st Christmas / 1st time up Genting

As for 2020, I got a few things to look forward to and also a few things to check off. Still working on that list in my head, so will pen those down when they become more describable. That's it for now...

Here's to the 1st post of 2020,

Cheers!

First of 2018

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Not sure where to start this post, so I'm just gonna write.

2018 had started off kinda like the free-fall slide at Sunway Lagoon - you get into the tube and the fella gives you a thumbs up to confirm your ready, but you stand there alone not knowing when you will actually drop...and when you open your mouth to try and say something...you drop. Hard.

I've got so much emotion built up inside for the last few months maybe even longer than that, I honestly feel like I was pretty close to losing it. BUT, I didn't. I went home to Vancouver and met up with all my old school and badminton friends. It wasn't like we did anything special - had meals, walked around and spent some time catching up - yet, it seemed to fill a hole somewhere. I needed that, and I was so glad everyone just stayed the same. Just like how I remembered. Home.

Then came Chinese New Year. Well, before that happened, it was probably the closest I've gone to the cliff. Let's just say, I now have a very special feeling towards Valentine's Day. And Christmas. And New Years. It's a bit awkward because I used to love that time of the year, but now I'd rather just not go there. So please, let's fast forward to SUMMER!

Sleepless Night

Dear Pipsqueaks,

It's 1.21am and I can't fall asleep. Perhaps it was the Americano that I shouldn't have had at 10.30pm. Or something else, but I'm hoping it was the first.

Sure feels like a long time since I reflected on how I'm doing: when I say that, I mean taking a good look at where I am physically, mentally and emotionally.

Probably easier to assess my physical status: I feel better than I did at the beginning of the year. Definitely got more energy to do this and that now that I'm sleeping earlier (obviously not counting tonight). Actually, I was quite proud of my lifestyle pre- Puma and YOLO runs. I managed to get out of bed at 6.30am to run for 40minutes, stretch, shower, breakfast and ready for work. It does sound a bit crazy now that I think about it, but it was a good habit and I really want to get back into that routine. But, maybe I'll give myself a couple of days to recover from all the traveling. It also doesn't help that my heel pain is back, so will rest up before jumping back into training. Aside from the heel injury, I feel I'm overall in good health.

Mentally, I'm also in a better place than I was a year ago. Sifting through old notes, I could feel the frustration and hopelessness back in 2016. It was a year where I felt weak, but also a year that I learned how to be stronger. To focus on doing what I do best and forget the rest. As I always said, "when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up." So up I went and never looked back. Well, I look back - only to see how far I've come.

Year of Happiness

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Honestly speaking, I did see half of these proposals coming. But, they still make me tear a bit seeing them come true. First, in Feb, my distant cousin Wendy (I say that because her last name is also Sung). In May, my highschool friend Carmen who still remains very close even though we rarely see each other. In June, one of my closest friends Tania who's just an amazing amazing person. In July, my childhood Moles teacher and BFF Tamzie. In Aug, one of my sister's friends who makes time to see me when I'm back in TPE and is just a super nice person Jeannie; and just a few days ago, an old badminton friend Toby proposed to his long time girlfriend Carmen in London.

Actually, now come to think of it, all these relationships have been long ones. And that's why it means so much more to see it come to fruition. I don't think I've been there for most of their ups and downs but I've heard enough to know it certainly weren't easy. Every relationship has their challenges, and I'm just glad they were able to make it through together.

Time really flies, and now I'm marrying off more than half of my close girlfriends. A little hard to admit it's all really happening, but hey I'm a proud friend. Look how far we've come - a childhood full of memories. I suppose it just feels like I'm gonna lose them to married life, but I know it's just me being me. I'm sure they'll still make time for me. Here's to our childhood - from girls to ladies to wives-to-be...

-Wendy-

The One That Got Away

Dear Pipsqueaks,

This one is going back to university days! Okay, so here's what happened. A friend of mine sent a link around in a group chat, and as usual I watched it. To my surprise, it was a clip of someone from the past. Someone that fit 'The One That Got Away'.

Rewind back to 2009 - through a close friend of mine, I met him. Tall, baby face and had a big smile. Loved playing video games and riding motorbike. Actually, I came to know him because of his motorbike injury. That same close friend had wanted to pay him a visit and asked if I wanted to go together, so I said okay. We went by his house for a quick chat and to be honest until this day I have no idea what happened. I just fell right in.

I still remember trying to rush this birthday present for him - a scrapbook page full of his motorbike photos and of his friends with lots of stickers and text. I can't recall where I placed the photo I took of it, but trust me, it was one of the finest handcrafted page I've made. Definitely TLC. Around 11:30pm the night before, I gave him a quick text to make sure he wasn't asleep, drove to his place (from Burnaby to VanWest was probably a good 20mins without traffic), surprised him with the frame and left.

Belated 6th Anniversary

Dear Pipsqueaks,

I know, I know it's been closer to two months since my 6th anniversary at this office. I had thought about what I wanted to write, but so many things have happened since that sometimes it's easier just to move on. Move on from what, you ask? Lots of downs. Actually, more downs than ups these last couple of years but that's also why I've chosen just to keep going and not look back.

So many times, I've felt my heels were at the edge of the cliff with unknown space behind me, and sometimes absolute depression. But if you know me well enough, I won't let myself stay there for long. I've found my way out of that quick sand and am now quite content. Suppose I've figured out the right attitude to have when facing work? Whatever it is, it's working so I'm going to keep at it.

Around The Corner

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Thank Goodness It's Friday! Sure feels like lots had happened since I last updated, so I'm not quite sure what I'd shared and what I haven't, but will share what I can remember.

Firstly, a close friend of mine had gone into surgery early this week and now is recovering well. That's always good to hear, and an even bigger motivation to keep myself in good health. Yes, I've been doing a lot more running but I'm not sure if my right knee and left ankle can handle this weight (haha, ironic that I need them to lose this weight first in order to lighten the load!) But so far so good! The only worry is that for the 3/4 of August, I'll be on the move. So not sure how to keep this level up, but will find a way! As they say, "Where there is a will, there is a way!"

About turning 30 - I'm not quite sure what to think of it, and perhaps it's not that big of a deal as I thought it would be. Actually, I don't feel any different than when I celebrated my 25th. But I suppose it should be important - in that I officially am OLD. I won't be able to play the cute card as innocently as I used to, haha. Just kidding, I'd still try my hand anyway: there will be takers!

SOPs

Dear Pipsqueaks,

I know I've written something back in 2012 about 'Lead by Example', and I suppose this is somewhat similar to that theme, but more so setting an example to be followed. Why is it so important to decide on the way forward and stick with it? Well, that's what will make or break the future of any operation.

SOPs = Standard Operating Procedure

Companies have SOPs. Schools have SOPs. Sports teams have SOPs. Even families have SOPs. Why do we have them? It's so we don't spend the same amount of time if not more dwelling on the same question every single time it comes up. It's just not worth all that time to have the same discussion about the same topic over and over. If the topic were a person, then it would have been an overkill for every talk were a stab. Honestly, it doesn't need to be that complicated.

Best time to set an SOP = when the issue first arises.

Mothers & Knocked Up

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Not sure whether that was a nightmare or what, but after waking up, now I can't get back to sleep so I'm just going to write until the rest of the world wakes up.

Perhaps the two had some correlation but I'll let you decide.

So just before I went to shower for bed, mama was in my room flipping through my closet asking what I'd bring to this mini trip we're going on. Because it was past midnight, I just wanted her to get to bed first and I'll sort out the rest. "Mama, I'm turning 30. I can pack myself." She said okay while closing all the doors she opened and quietly left my room.

You have no idea how guilty I felt. I thought about how she carried me for 10 months & took care of me since...and I knew I shouldn't have said that to her. It must have been painful to hear, even though it was the truth. Let's face it, no parent wants to feel like their kid doesn't need them anymore. But we grow up and old despite them wanting to take care of us forever. Even so, I think we still need to give them a sense of being needed - always. So here's to NEVER saying something so hurtful to my parents ever again. If she wants to pack for me, then I'm gonna let her do all of it. If that's what makes her happy - that's a done deal for me.

Mount Kota Kinabalu

Dear Pipsqueaks,

The saying goes...
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Well, try 40,000 steps to cover 16km...up and down Mount KK. Honestly can't feel my legs. But what an experience! It's somewhat hard to describe what was going on through my mind the whole climb. 'What did I get myself into?' 'Why did I pay for this pain?' 'Where IS that damn peak?' All sorts of thoughts. That feeling of endless walking and walking and walking without knowing how far more to go is one of the most scariest feelings ever. Probably because there are no other option than to keep walking.

(READY, SET & GO!)

(It begins here - at Timpohon Gate)

Ready for CNY2017

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Can't say I'm ready for CNY but I'm definitely ready to bring the load of snacks to my parent's house! The collection has been taking up a floor in the fridge and a box in the living room - they need to be EATEN! And not by me because them dang sugar levels. Anyway, it's been...OMG! It's been more than 6 months since I've spent some time with my parents and le sister?! What in the world...though I did briefly see them on my way to Vancouver for a wedding in September. But that can't count. I've gotta do better than that.

Which is why I'm only going to be attending 6 tournaments this year:
- All England Open (Birmingham)
- Sudirman Cup (Gold Coast)
- Indonesia Open (Jakarta)
- World Championships (Glasgow)
- French Open (Paris)
- Dubai Finals (Dubai)

Selamat 2017

Dear Pipsqueaks,

I'm not going to start by saying, "it's been a long time since I last updated here!", because that's lame! Not going to start the first post of 2017 that way, and I certainly want to stop writing that. I need to find time and space in my mind to just sit down and write write write. Just yesterday, a friend had asked me about blogging, and the weirdest thing happened. I found myself talking non-stop about how amazing it is to blog, why she should do it, and how to set up the blog. I suppose that's what passionate people are like?

Yes, I'm passionate about blogging! Can't you tell? Okay, if you can't tell that I've changed to a whole new template, then you're a horrendous subscriber! Well, actually it's not completely your fault. I just haven't written anything for so long...brain becomes a bit scared to go full out. That's also not healthy because it just means my brain is STUCK! I don't want it to be stuck...so here I am! New look and feel which will hopefully bring me back to writing-mode.

So before I move into 2017, I want to highlight a few things about 2016:

• attended Thai friend wedding in Bangkok
• moved into a new area - new condo
• met up with baddy girls Monica Mui and Alice Man in Singapore
• hosted my friend Alice Man (hopefully she enjoyed her mini-KL getaway)
• played tennis for the first time in YEARS at Lake Club
• took a photoshoot session in Taipei
• included Cheng Wen Hsing into our Tuesday baddy group
• visited Macau and Hong Kong with the parents and le sister
• celebrated my birthday in Rio
• attended Bon/Steve's wedding back in Vancouver
• got a new windshield for my car
• watched 21 movies
• assisted at 9 tournaments last year - 11 weeks of work travel
• participated in my 3rd Olympic Games at Rio2016
• managed two successful dinners - Kunshan & Dubai
• delivered 99% of all promo activity requests from hosts/sponsors
• spent New Year's countdown in Hokkaido

Yup, definitely accomplished and experienced a bunch in 2016. Wasn't an easy year - I combed through my calendar and all I could see were what I labelled as "Work Reflections", which were mostly a recap of an incident at work that I just needed to write down to forget. Ironic eh? Writing it down to forget it. But hey, it works. Best part is, I can't even remember most of those incidents by looking at their titles - that normally doesn't happen as I do brag at times about my amazing memory of all things experienced. Yes, not always the most important things, but I remember them anyway.

So here we are in 2017. What the heck does that mean? It means, I've started my new approach to life. I've taken up bullet journaling - and I can't wait to go back to Taiwan for Chinese New Year because the bookstores are full of colorful pens to write with and stickers to go into my book; started to exercise more regularly and watch my health; and most importantly, take myself less seriously and learn to enjoy life. Whatever it offers.

Anyhoos, time to hit the gym. It's taken you a good 10 minutes to read this so time to move your bottoms too, peeps! Let's not just start strong - continue strong! Together.

Playing Sudoku

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Yes, I've been MIA for the longest time. Work has really taken a toll on my free mind! But, don't worry. I'd never let work take over my life. If anything, I've at least been able to leave work at the office and NOT work at home. Now, I just need to learn to leave my feelings about work at work, and not let them affect me the way they did yesterday.

I didn't sleep much last night because of how the order of play went down after the matches had finished. Everyone expressed their requests and knowing the reasons/excuses that each have for their requests, I had come up with an order that I thought was acceptable. At least in my mind. But after having spoken to my colleague, I now understand it wasn't the best order. Why? Because I didn't know he had his requests as well. Maybe not requests, but more like preferences or expectations. Unspoken rules about how things should be done.

Perhaps, it was my fault to not have clarified that by asking first what were the expectations from him. It's like playing Sudoku. If the grid didn't give you enough numbers to start with, then how do you begin to deductively sort out the rest of the numbers? That's how I felt about yesterday anyway. Requests were the numbers and the final order of the play was the answer. Puzzle pieces. It's no wonder he was unhappy with the order because I didn't bring into consideration his expectations.

Anyway, the summary to the whole episode yesterday was that I didn't manage to fulfill everyone's request. Therefore, I considered that a fail. And with every situation comes a lesson to learn: figure out what everyone wants and what their priorities are before tackling the challenge of piecing together the best solution.

Moving forward.

Quick Update

Dear Pipsqueaks,

It's been honestly too long since the last time I've updated. I just haven't been in the mood to write. Can't really put down in words why that is the case. Perhaps I've just been so mentally drained to have any 'thoughts'. Mentally drained due to office dramas - and yes, it has been this way for nearly 2 years, but I think I'm down to my last drop of patience.

I saw a post that truly reflected how I felt. Maybe, this can explain it a little...

"I'm done compromising. Even more so, I'm done with being compromised."

Don't get me wrong - I love what I do and the experiences this job offers. But, I don't feel like I'm learning or growing. Professionally or personally. I've just been here. Present, but that's it. Nothing more. It stresses me out that I have not learnt anything new or grew in knowledge/experience in the last couple of years. It also doesn't help that I feel undervalued and unappreciated.

And that is no one else's fault but mine. For settling. For accepting. So what can I do about it? Should I just keep waiting and pray that things will get better, or take action to make things better? If they don't, then at least I can say I've tried. Right?

Moving swiftly along, I'll be in Fuzhou for China Open until the 21st, then back for 3 weeks before we depart for Dubai on the 10th, then it'll be year-end break till 2017. I foresee that the boss won't want to deal with me until the new year. I think the last drop can last me until then.

 (Where's my next destination in life?)

[Rio2016] Adventures - Part 1

Dear Pipsqueaks,

It's been tough since returning to Malaysia. With an air travel of over 25 hours and crossing 12 time zones, it is absolutely normal to operate like a zombie for the last few days. Not to mention, I actually slept until 3pm on Sunday - definitely didn't help with jetlag that's for sure. But, I think I'm back physically and mentally. Though, I do question my sanity at times when it comes to the office...but that's for another day.

What was it about Rio that I wanted to tell you...

THE COMPETITION? Lots of upsets from the start, with big names falling left right center in Round-Robins. As for those who made it to the Finals and won, they played a very good Games. I suppose some would not have been my picks, but you know what they say: It's not about winning every time, but winning when it counts.

There will also be quite a number of retirees in the next few months as teams reshuffle their squad for the next Olympic Games in Tokyo. It'd be interesting to see who's left after the 'cleansing'. And with that, what's left of my generation of players will most probably be at the minimal. Yes, it's not that the players are getting younger; it's that we're getting older. Sigh, at least I can still go around calling myself 'Jie Jie' and not at the 'Aunty' level yet. Phew. Though, I don't foresee myself working here by then anyway!

(It's all about where you stand on this podium...)

THE CHALLENGES? It wasn't really until the last couple of weeks before leaving for the event that I knew what my tasks were for the Games. The first was to get head shots of all of our athletes for Sports Presentation, so when the athletes were announced, this clip would play and the audience would get to SEE and RECOGNISE them. I suppose this is important as we do want to put faces to names. It definitely wasn't an easy job to do, but if I was told correctly, we were the first sport to get ALL our athletes to complete the shoot! All 172 of them #proud

The next two challenges were more like hall passes than anything else. One was to get athletes to donate their equipment to the Olympic Museum, and the other was to get them to do interviews at the Olympic Channel. Interviews and equipment - how hard could it be? Well, let me tell you. No one likes last minute requests, and not to mention I didn't even have the right access to do the job. No, I did not have a T3 (to order my own ride or jump on one at a T3 spot), nor access to the IBC/IPC. Now that I think about it, being able to bring in 3 of our 5 Olympic Champions is amazing in consideration of the circumstances. As for the equipment, we can always get it at our next events and post it over to the Museum. No biggie.

(The most polite and easiest players to work with! 10/10 for cooperation)

But yes, this is when I feel that my job is to build relationships with players in a short amount of time only to break it in the same short amount of time by asking them to do this and that. Well, at least I can represent myself. I don't simply pester players for anything, so when they see me, they know it's legit. Most of them would not make it difficult for me anyway - there are a few but I won't shame them here. Let's just say, athletes aren't the difficult ones; it's usually those who can't manage them that makes things more difficult. Hopefully, it will only get better as we move towards being more professional in the sport!

THE INTERNAL STRUGGLE? Let's just say, it was one of those Games where we really needed to take things into our own hands and just get them done. We had 18 staff members onsite just to ensure the Games is reasonably delivered. It was particularly challenging with some of them being 'Olympic Novice' where they aren't sure what's okay and what's not. I guess that does come with experience, but it never hurts to learn by observation. The worst is assuming you know and act on it rather than asking. All the more, for the rest of us to manage the damage.

THE FOOD? We didn't have food at the venue for the first few days until competition started. Not going to complain as we at least had food to eat. When we finished early enough, we would either go to the pizza shop or steakhouse 15 minutes down the street from our hotel. Definitely was a great find, or else we may literally starve if we had to depend on the hotel food. Oh! We did go to three real Brazilian restaurants during the 21-day stay! When I say Brazilian, I mean Brazilian, where they bring around meats on grills until you can't eat anymore. It's no wonder by colleague said, "death by meat". Now that makes sense!

(Never expected to be able to celebrate my birthday in Rio - but here we are! Enjoying a meaty dinner at Fogo de Chao among Olympians~)

(Funky restaurant with no free space on walls anywhere - Marius Degustare. Just filled with all sorts of things! I think I even spotted a racket but it was above someone else's table so I didn't snap a photo. This place not only did meats but also seafood. Just one word - yum!)

(We found this homey Brazilian restaurant in Rio Design Mall called In House, and boy was it a gem! It had a bouquet of selections for their all-you-can-eat, and you can order your meats on the side if you want. The flavours were by far the best I've had in my stay. Definitely worth going for at least one of your meals!)

Anyway, Part 2 to come!

Stay tuned =)

Young At Heart

Dear Pipsqueaks,

I had the privilege to spend an evening with a very inspiring 91 year old. She's not your typical grumpy old lady who seems to hate the youth and always have something negative to say, but rather a surprisingly delightful character.

Admittedly, I was curious whether she was really over 90 because she still had a full set of real teeth and a head of relatively black hair. She kept a good pace while we walked around the mall and responded to my questions or comments swiftly. And best of all, she doesn't repeat herself a million times like some elderlies do. Not that I have anything against those kinds of elderlies - I just have to tune up my patience level a little more. Or should I say, I'd need to force myself to see them more like kids for me to be able to handle them a certain way?

Anyway, no need for extra patience with this granny. Why? Because, she's just so pleasant to be around. She'd eat whatever you put on her place, and try out a few flavours at Baskin' Robins before agreeing with me that she'd like the Macadamia Nut better. She even requested her ice-cream in a cone! What a daring one, eh?!

Okay, rewind. We asked her if she would like to have some tea. Her response, "Hm, I think I like coffee better." Seriously, Asian oldies don't normally take coffee - odd one, she prefers coffee over tea! Brilliant, isn't she? But since she was already having ice-cream (and her younger sister of 82 wouldn't have approved of her having our kind of coffee), we offered her a sip while her sister wasn't looking. Adorably, she took a quick sip and said she'd like it with sugar...(ALSO something oldies wouldn't say!)

A cute and warming person to be around! The exact kinda oldie I hope to become one day. Yes, I aspire to be just like her. Adventurous and bubbly. Fun but classy. Timeless. That's the word. No matter at what age, I want to be able to see and interact with the world as she does - full of enthusiasm.

Thanks for being my inspiration in life, granny. See you real soon!

Happy 5 Years!

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Today celebrates the first day I walked into the BWF office back when it was based at the Cheras Stadium. Boy, did that office give me the creeps! It has the scariest toilets in the world, and amplified the thunders that shook the skies. BUT, I was super lucky. We were in the process of moving out of that office to the current one in the city center. Within 3 days, we were in the new office unpacking! I guess it was a good thing I came during a time of change, because it meant I could settle in with the rest of the bunch. We got to figure out together where to have lunch, and what was around the office. I suppose we enjoyed the selection of food until year 3 - everyone started getting really lazy to decide what to have for lunch. Nowadays, we just go with whoever has a preference.

(Me at my desk working SO hard :P)

(Office Warming Group Photo!)

(Office Warming - missing Ida and Pat)

My first council session. Ah, that was definitely an experience to remember. I remember panicking about taking notes for meetings - don't think I was ever that stressed during school days! But okay, I got the hang of it pretty quick. Best part of that session in Queenstown? I was peacefully enjoying breakfast in the lounge when my boss came running in his suit and yelled, "There you are! Where have you been? You need to be in this meeting now!" I quickly got up and ran like the wind behind my long-legged boss into a room full of super serious looking people. There I was standing in my pink Canadian pull-overs and jeans scrambling to get a seat so everyone would stop looking at me. So yes, the whole council was waiting for me to get my bottoms into the room. My guess was my boss only realised I was missing when they did a customary staff intro. Oh wells, at least the President looked alright...I think. Anyway, from that day onward, I learned that you cannot expect others to tell you what you need to do, even if you ARE new. Not to say that people are selfish and would rather see you fail, but at times, they just cannot be looking out for others. So, I survived my first council session of many to come.

Through these meetings and Major Events, I have been to quite a few places around the world that I would otherwise have waited to visit. I won't go into detail where exactly, but the list goes on and on...

I don't know if it had been a tradition to have staff days, but at least I know we've had one every year since I joined:

(Staff Day 2012: Mini Badminton competition and massage at Thai Odyssey)

(Staff Day 2013: Team Cook-off! Can't see the rest of my team because we're all busy trying to finish on time!)

(Staff Day 2014: Treasure Hunt in Melaka - under the super hot sun, we looked for clues around town and came FIRST! Also won a watch during lucky draw. YAY~~)

(Staff Day 2015: Drumming session where our team came FIRST - AND - won the 2nd prize (also a watch) during the lucky draw! Me like Staff Days hehe)

I still remember when we were finishing up with the lucky draw, our big boss said, "I never win anything!" and I'm smirking because I've won the team event and something from lucky draw in the last two editions! Bahaha, can't wait for Staff Day this year ~ I wonder what we're going to be doing...

But okay, just to make sure I don't give the wrong impression here - we have fun but we do work hard too! When I was a PA, we would literally be in the hotel for 5-6 days straight without taking a step outside. All we see is our room, the breakfast area and meeting rooms. That's it. Those were tough but interesting-in-its-own-way days. Now, I'm doing a little bit more on the branding/events side. We're usually the first ones to arrive and the last ones to leave the venue. From 6:30am-12:30am for the Round Robin stages of the recent TUC in Kunshan. LONG hours, but feels rewarding indeed. I guess I live off that adrenaline and hype at events - recharges my passion for the sport!

Remembering those days of Canada Open where I attended to players, officials and media...I even got quoted on the news! Crazy much.

It has been an amazing 5 years here in BWF, full of ups and downs. But definitely more ups than downs. I've learned through every meeting and trip we attended, and yet I still feel there's more. You wouldn't believe it, but I came into the office as the youngest member back in 2011, and I'm still one of the youngest. That just means I got more years ahead of me to improve and grow. I'll be attending my second Olympic Games as part of the International Federation team, but a different position now so I'm interested to find out what exactly we're going to be doing in Rio. Maybe nothing, or maybe everything?! (hearing all the updates...we may need to bring our whole team).

There will be lots of changes in the next year, all of which I'm telling myself to be patient about. So, Year 6, here we go!

(Bye Kunshan, Hello Rio!)

In Control

Dear Pipsqueaks,

It has been ages since I last posted something that is not a "update you soon". Apologies for that - life has been in a motion that I had forgotten how important it was to step outside and do some proper inward reflection.

Work has not been the easiest this year with all the unnecessary 'drama'. I remember when I first joined this office, my boss had promised no politics. Fair enough, we have not been dragged into any of those messy situations. However, somehow I feel drama is just as bad if not worse than politics.

Which is why, one of my goals for 2016 was to 'speak less to listen more'. You cannot listen to others if you are speaking all the time. If you know me, keeping quiet is a BIG challenge. I just love to talk ( in person - I do not enjoy talking on the phone for some odd reason). I can talk about the moon and the stars, then talk about the past and future...talk until the cows come home. Yes, I can talk.

That is precisely why I wanted to train myself to listen more. Being absolutely truthful, I do not believe I am a good listener. To be a good listener, one has to be able to put the attention on the speaker in every way. I cannot remember exactly what was taught in psychology - yes, there was a full lecture on this - how to be a good listener. Maybe that was a part of interrogation tactics study...but basically, you need to be empathetic and attentive to the details. Anyway, summing it up - it takes a lot to be a good listener. But the first step is to stop talking.

So I started 2016 trying to be a good listener by talking less. And you would think that is a good idea! Apparently not?! I had been criticized to be "non-engaging, not accessible and not a team player." Wow, so uncalled for. Anyone who knows me even the slightest will jump out to say that is NOT Jessy. I will not waste my time to analyse how the person came to think that about me. Why? Because the person had known me for almost 2 years and yet have no clue the kind of person I am. Some people will only see what they want to see. Some people will hear only what they want to hear. There is nothing I can do about what others think of me. Quite frankly, what others think of me is none of my business. Of course, that is said in the context that I have been my best. The rest is out of my control.

Then, what is in our control?

What we take to heart. How we react. Where to draw the line.

Goal: Stay poised, strong and patient. With those fundamental elements, not even the nastiest of people can sway you.

Words Unspoken

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Trying to catch up on writing down the millions of thoughts flowing in my mind here, and now I feel rather lost if my writing isn't posted/archived here...so transferring from Facebook, a poem dedicated to my dear sister:


I may not be the best with words
But what I feel is true
All my life, every moment counting
You were there, through and through

No matter what I may throw at you
Unfair, unreal, pure delusional
I'd get my way before I turn blue
Yes, I can be so dysfunctional

Now, I know I'm Ms. Difficult
But I'm so glad it was you
That took the challenge by default
With no instruction or any clue

No one said life would be fair
So you never bothered complaining
'Cause you know I do really care
Except it's never for sharing

It's time for you to hear me out
All the things I have to say
It may get a little gush, no doubt
Yet, they've been too long in delay

Right off the bat, I'd like to thank you 
For always being my cornerstone
My dreams were no longer far from true
'Cause you'd never let me fight alone

Thanks for keeping me grounded
Reminding me what matters
Thanks for ensuring I'm protected
So I could leap without fear of shutters

I am truly grateful and truly blessed
To have your company on this journey
No matter what life may wish to test
With you guiding, I'm sure to pass however many

If you still have not guessed by now
I shall be bluntly clear
This was written with a bow
For the world's most amazing, my sister

Ivy Sung

You Win, Allergies!

Dear Pipsqueaks,

After coming back from Bangkok - at supper to be exact - it was brought to my attention that my face had begun to turn very red. I didn't take much notice then because I reasoned it from being too dehydrated from the trip as a whole. I normally drink about 3~4L of water a day, and that wasn't convenient when we travel, so yes I definitely dropped it to about 2L a day. So, legit to see some reaction from the body.

But when I got home, I realised it wasn't only turning red...but bumpy. Like a horrendous allergy attack. Funny enough, it stayed very well within the face region, nothing on the ear, neck or scalp. I started to wonder whether it was the facial mask, but that couldn't be because I used it since day 1 of the trip. So if that were the cause, this would have happened on day 2. It just didn't make any sense as I was also quite careful with what I ate, though I may have had a little too many squids...