Just because I didn't write a post doesn't mean I forgot one of the most important reminding holidays we celebrate: thanksgiving. Although it's not the first time I've spent it away from home, every year that very day, I find myself missing my ma n pa. Now that we're literally half way across the world from each other, it makes me realize even more how much we needed "family sundays"- yes, ever since I had the feeling that I'd be leaving vancouver when I was still figuring out where life is taking me, as a family, we made it clear that sundays were family days. We'd do day trips out of town, yumcha followed by coffee in kerrisdale, or just chillax at the office n go for walks just before sundown...whatever was the flavour of the day, we did it together. That's why right now, as much as I miss them, I'm glad I'm not in a state of regret for not spending more time with them when I had the chance.
I guess what prompted me to write this was watching, for the first time, an episode of "the buried life" where four guys have decided to spend their lives checking items off their bucket list, n every time they do, they help a stranger complete a wish. I'm not sure if that's how it usually ends up, but today, the two were very much related. The item was to help deliver a baby n the wish was of a girl that had lost her mother due to infection during the attacks of hurricane katrina. She never had the chance to visit her mothers grave as all infected were quarintined n shipped off somewhere else far away. The news reached the daughter, but because she didn't have the funds to fly there, for years since her mother's death, she had not been able to pay her a visit. So the guys raised the fund by busting tables n got her a flight to see her mom. I dunno...by the end of the show, I was ballin'...
Maybe I was a very difficult child when I grew up, with all my aunties n uncles telling me how princess I was when I was little. Not that I remember much of it, but hearing so many testimonies, it must hold some truth. When I was 7, my whole family moved to the beautiful city of vancouer- which I miss so very dearly- to get a "better future" so to speak. I have to say, learning a new language was hard at first, but I'll bet it was a million times harder for my parents. The considerations thought of, the decisions made, n the actions taken were all so my sister n I could have a better platform to leap off of. Just imagine, going to a country that u know nothing of, can't speak the langauge of, n practically "start a new life" with the only option of making it work out somehow. Honestly, I question where all that courage n bravery came from (hm, maybe that's how I ended up here in malaysia now, haha. But for me, it's only because I have a strong family n good friends as my backbone, so I'm not too scared, but rather more adventurous n excited).
Anyways, back to my parents...not only did they have to raise my sister n I, they had to raise us with the pressures of business n success. Now that I think back, it must be so frustrating not being able to help me with my homework. Maybe that's why I spent most of my time with tutors...english, mandarin, science, math, piano...u name it, I had a tutor for it. It wasn't because I was a bad student or anything, but it was a common understanding that I could always be better- lol this would explain my "ms.perfectionist" behavior. So yah, at this point, I can say I haven't let them down n as much as chinese parents aren't as verbal, I know they're proud of me no matter what.
They weren't lying when they said "u'll understand our hardwork when u get older". I so do, one million percent. The one thing I regret was not saying thank u every time they did something for me when I was younger- but I guess not many of us did. But u know, it's never too late to start n let them know just how much u really do appreciate them. If u think even for a second that just because they're ur parents, they'll have to be around to take care of u- oh, I'm sorry to burst ur bubble but- u can't be more mistaken. Well, ur right that they'll be ur parents no matter what, but as much as they want to, they won't be able to stick around forever to take care of u. If anything, they'd be around but u'll have to be the one doing the taking-care part. But, u know, u do owe them that much. Yet, u don't hv to wait till they're old to take care of them. Going grocery shopping with them, having meals with them, watching movies at home with them, taking them out for trips or walks...whatever they want to do n can do (which unfortunately will only decrease as they get older). Afterall, they just wanna spend as much time time as they can with u.
Side note: u know how they always say, "I know how u feel" when they're trying to cheer u up or make u understand? n ur always so quick to say, "no! u don't. how can u?!" while running off to ur room. well, u may not have thought of it, but once upon a time, ur parents were ur age. It may not have been the exact same situation, but i'm sure they've had similar experiences. u didn't think ur parents were born mid-20s did u?! so give them some credit for being ur parents...they may not always know better, but they'd be the last people on earth who'd want to hurt u.
U know, they've spent a huge chunk of their lives making sure u didn't do something stupid or hurt urself, that ur well fed, that ur given the best chances they can offer, n that u don't have to worry about them. But u know, as much as I wish my parents would be my superheros forever, protecting me wherever I go, I do realize that's not possible. Instead, I'm starting to feel they're the ones that need my protection- if I could put them in a fairyland container n keep with me all the time, I would. But we all know that's definitely impossible (tho, in a way, they kinda already do...in my heart). Well, right now, my sister's taking care of them for the both of us n I'm very grateful that she is. When I'm done achieving my dreams, I'll take over for sure. I can't wait :) The faster u realize that time is never on ur side, the more u'll be in a position to appreciate the people n things u have. A daily dose of simple appreciation: a hug, a kiss, a big thank u, n making sure they hear u when u scream out " My parents are the best!" Well, my parents are the best (n this should be the only appropriate n acceptable time to disagree with me by saying "no! MY parents are the best!") So what are u waiting for? when it's too late? Go ahead already.
When was the last time u took a good look at ur parents?
U know, they've spent a huge chunk of their lives making sure u didn't do something stupid or hurt urself, that ur well fed, that ur given the best chances they can offer, n that u don't have to worry about them. But u know, as much as I wish my parents would be my superheros forever, protecting me wherever I go, I do realize that's not possible. Instead, I'm starting to feel they're the ones that need my protection- if I could put them in a fairyland container n keep with me all the time, I would. But we all know that's definitely impossible (tho, in a way, they kinda already do...in my heart). Well, right now, my sister's taking care of them for the both of us n I'm very grateful that she is. When I'm done achieving my dreams, I'll take over for sure. I can't wait :) The faster u realize that time is never on ur side, the more u'll be in a position to appreciate the people n things u have. A daily dose of simple appreciation: a hug, a kiss, a big thank u, n making sure they hear u when u scream out " My parents are the best!" Well, my parents are the best (n this should be the only appropriate n acceptable time to disagree with me by saying "no! MY parents are the best!") So what are u waiting for? when it's too late? Go ahead already.
When was the last time u took a good look at ur parents?