An incident this week reminded me of a fact that I had to force onto myself a few years back. I won't go into the details of what happened this time (but if ur a smart cookie, u'd figure it out with all my underlining clues as to what had prompt me to write this). Once upon a time, when we were all young n stupid- aka highschool times- I had made a very personal goal: to make sure everyone liked me. Now that I think back, it was just a very immature, naïve way of thinking cos in every situation, there is bound to be opposition. That's "just the way the cookie crumbles!"
(Time traveling back to highschool days...)
If I remember correctly, the plan was quite simple: keep in touch with the ones that already do like me n double the effort to those that don't. Man, was I wrong. There was a particular guy- wait, there were 2, but one at a time so my heart can handle all this "being disliked" memories- that just didn't like me, n of course, hving a mission to change that, I had to figure out why. Just WHY didn't he like me?! What's there not to like?! Lol, well, apparently, I talk too much (according to him anyways- altho I had a feeling that was just a partial answer). That's the thing: some people actually appreciate my talking. Think about it this way: hv u ever been to a group dinner n people are just so quiet that it feels like winter came early? Yah, I'm sure u know what I'm talking about. This is where I come in handy. Depending on the crowd, I'd try to get people mingling n talking by "starting" the conversation n, u know, "break the silence" so to speak. Sometimes, u just need someone to warm up the surrounding n get everyone comfortable enough to social. U know, if ur the first to say something silly n get everyone laughing, even tho it was at ur expense, now everyone's kinda on the same page n it will eventually loosen up. That's just one technique tho...but yah. I never thought it would be a feature that someone would dislike. So yes, it bothered me so much that I was just overboard trying to "fix" it. Well, some things can't be fixed (especially that was only a particial reason). Even when I purposely made sure that I stop talking when he was around, it didn't change the way he felt about me. So I considered him a lost cause.
Then, there was the other guy, who is the perfect example for what I wanted to point out: for no apparent reason, he just didn't like me. Actually, if I remember correctly, he even said that to my face. So there u have it. Someone who just doesn't like "me". There was no way to "fix" this cos there was no reason- well, the reason was "me being me" n there was no way I could change that. Then, the answer came to me in a kinda "ta-da" moment: not everyone will like me n there's nothing I could do about it. That's just how it works in this world. U can't impress everyone, n that includes me- the person- as its literally impossible for me to hv all the different combinations of preferred qualities to suit every single person's needs. Plus, that's just way too much work. So, in the end, it was a heart-breaking lesson that I had to learn n honestly, one of the best ones yet.
So what if someone doesn't like me? Glass being half full- actually in this case, definitely more than 3/4 full- I got everyone else that does. Who cares about this ONE "unconforming" individual? One thing's for sure: I'm not changing myself just so this one person would like me. it's not worth the gamble to lose any of the ones that already do. Just look around u. As long as those who matter do, u don't hv to worry about the rest. U just gotta remember or keep reminding urself just that. For me, I like who I am n I hv no intentions of being anyone else but me. See, although I'm not really sure how someone can dislike it, even chocolate has it's "opposing fans". U don't see chocolate melting over that, do u? Exactly. *playing Prozac's "be as" song in the background*
Something I remixed from inspiring quote:
You don't know the things I like, you don't know what I hate. You don't know whether I like coffee, milktea or coco shake. You don't know the car I drive, or my favourite cake. You can't possibly know, to cross me, what will be at stake. But all is forgiven, including all mistakes. 'Cos u don't know me yet, but for ur own sake, keep ur thoughts to yourself, cos I don't need this give or take. Now, ignorance is bliss, but I shall give you heads up. I'm here to stay, whether you like it or not. You don't know me, but u soon will, right down to the dot. (9.9.11)