Wheels of Fortune

Lost in this ever-changing world

Feeling as if the ground could never stand still

And just as you start to gain some balance 

Like hurricane whipping through 

Your journey, unfortunately, must begin anew 

But please oh please fret not, my friend 

For the wheels of fortune constantly turn 

Everything is on track as intend 

So surely in your favour it shall ascend

Life's Poem

I'd like to dedicate this poem to a very special friend of mine- and all those who feel the same.

Life is full of many surprises
But knowing you, I'm sure
Whatever it may throw at you
You'll stand your ground, no fear
Even so as life is now
No certainties can tell
We all have a purpose
The answers will soon find us
Until then
Life is lived to its fullest

Dec 12, 2010

Don't forget: life is what you make of it, so in the making it is. 

Perfect Timing

Dear pipsqueaks,

Have u ever wondered what "now" would be like if clock on events could be changed? Yah, I know. "What"s the point in thinking about an impossible reality that could've, would've, but didn't' take place?" Well, in some ways, it allows u to put many things into priority n perspective. As the observer sees more clearly than the main characters of stories, being able to step outside of ur own n play out a different ending, u'll see, n possibly figure out, so much more of the situation n the people involved. But really, coming around to full circle, I've realize that it all worked out somehow, even if it weren't how I expected or wanted. If ur like me, u'd be glad to be "here"- where ur suppose to be.

Not many people know of what really happened- why I working in Taiwan, n all of half a year's time, end up in Kuala Lumpur. Honestly, I didn't foresee any of this, or even "thought" of such outcome. Perhaps it's because I no longer was in control of life that I simply went for whatever ride it decided to take me on. Certainly don't expect that to be a smooth one as my first few months in Taiwan was, sorry for the lack of terms, hellish. Actually, u could say I was tricked into returning only to find that the person who offered me the position was about to get fired himself. Obviously, I didn't get the job. Eventually, through a few connections, I found myself in my comfort zone- badminton. Apart from the one tournament to handle- which was my strength to say- I felt like I was wasting away. There was no room for growth n the environment ever disappointing. So, I had to go.

Happy Dragon Year

Another year flew past

The celebrations begin

Though we're closer than last

Still a ways to drop in

No matter the distance

We've managed so far

It's good to see your faces

To Skype under the same star

I'm sure by now you'd realize

Where I'd rather be

But we'll just have to improvise

Until our next meet

So for now I must bid adieu

With all my best wishes

To my dearest home crew

I really do miss you

Happy Chinese New Year Everyone!

Unsaid;Unknown

Dear pipsqueaks,

Just as some things are better left unsaid, possibly, some things are better left unknown. Why do I say that? Well, sometimes when the picture becomes too detailed, it becomes too complicated to handle. If u'd just enjoy a piece of artwork hanging on the wall as a whole, without noting its chipped frame n faded paints, it's still quite the view. Perhaps, this is how he sees all of this mess, n like it or not, neither of us can argue what's really the proper way to draw the final period of this chapter.

I've taken a glance at a biography of a famous badminton athlete that was recently lauched. Boy, was I disappointed to read the chapter called "L.O.V.E". It was, simply put, a puppy love that accompanied him through all his ups n downs. Knowing the real story behind all of these words, u'd agree he had- purposely or not- forgotten the ending to that chapter. It was left in the midst for readers to ponder what really happened. Was he hiding from the truth himself, or is he just like all the other guys who prefer just to leave it "there"? Possibly, not wanting to bring focus to an end, it allows the story to stay as it were- to amaze n awe everyone at the beauty of such an union as a whole. Possibly.

First Staff Day

Dear pipsqueaks,

Can't believe an hour an a half badminton session could be this painful! Aching all over, especially my right butt cheeks, even climbing over the bridge to the office was rather embarrassing (stiff like some toy soldier!) Not sure how I had been able to play for 3hrs n be completely okay...when I was a junior! Age's catching up *gasp*. But, it was definitely a good turn out, or at least I think it was. Honestly, I didn't think it would that difficult to plan a Staff Day, but u know how it is with a group of people: u can never make everyone happy. So, the effort should be finding that balance so that everyone's relatively positive.

The schedule for the day was a quick lunch followed by a 2hr baddy session at the Sports Arena Sentosa (aka. LeeChongWei Centre- no wonder I couldn't find it online because it wasn't officially called LCW Centre. Though, once u walk in, u'll be able to tell that it was LCW as his face's plastered on all walls. I wonder if he felt a bit overwhelmed the first time visiting). Initially, I heard a lot of blah-blahs as many people thought the whole process of making the trip there, playing, showering, n being stuck in traffic upon return a tedious one. Nonetheless, everyone seemed to enjoy the friendly competition. It was good to see some people finally PLAY some baddy after being here for so long, n of course, to see the "retired" in action for a day.

Goodbyes

Dear pipsqueaks,

It's been one of the most draining weeks this year! (lol, just kidding. I know, I know. It's only been 2 weeks, but out of the 2 weeks, it's been the more tiresome one!) So yes, I'm extremely short on everything: sleep, temper, patience, focus...u name it. But, still a trooper- I went to work like a goody goody. Averaging a 5hr sleep cycle for the past week, I can't wait to get my 10hr normal nights. On the other hand, that meant it was time for goodbyes.

Goodbyes. Definitely not my favourite moments, but they're a must. After a quick Starbucks meet with my friends who had been here all week for the Malaysia Open 2012- one pair of which took home a champion title *proud*- it finally dawned on me that they were actually leaving. No worries though, I did try to spend as much time as I could with all my peeps that were here. So, no regrets. As many "hi"s u say, there'll be just as many "bye"s u'll have to say. Of course, I understand we all have our paths to take. With that, I'm just glad we had the chance to cross each other's n spend some time together. Actually, I've always believed that there's a perfect calculation of the amount of time to spend with someone that will be just enough n not too much to make departures rather tolerable. Possibly, a week or  two? It's not exact science n I've never tested this out, but I've began to feel that a "sentimental but hopeful" goodbye is possible.

Weak Spot

Dear pipsqueak,

Admit it, we all have weak spots. I do, n I'm willing to bet all my chocolates that u do too. Truthfully, the earlier u come to terms with ur weaknesses, the faster u'll learn to be stronger. I do believe that, or at least I want to believe that. Except, it's easier said than done. But then again, u can't really put a deadline on these kinds of things. U just have to wait it out. That's what I'm doing...

Our Names

To be invisible in your eyes is to disappear from this world...


after all these years, u'd think it'd get easier to forget all those memories.
in truth, it cannot be done.
u can lock them up in ur heart forever, but the urge lives on.

(If only u could see what I see...)

just another episode from some drama queen's life.
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Season Times

Spring breeze
We met on such a sunny day
Even the crowds couldn't get in our way
Strange forces at work, u could say
Doesn't matter cos'
Cherry blossoms were calling our names

Summer glow
We were oceans apart
The nights would've been lonely without ur calls
So I wait, patiently, for u to wake
To hear ur sweet voice, whatever it takes
Freedom was calling our names

Fall chill
Loneliness descends
As u drift away further
The wait was too empty, wounds hard to mend
Hopelessly wishing u could hear
Fallen leafs were calling our names

Winter ice
Frozen in time
Unable to anymore disguise
All the pain from our memories' prime
Hope dies with the love I once knew
This time, silence replaced our names

Certifying Parenthood

Dear pipsqueaks,

What does it take to be a good parent? Yes, I know I'm not in the position to judge as I've not reached that stage in my life. Even so, I've seen enough to make me want to put forth a qualification for a person to become a parent. I'm sure u've all seen "Nanny 911" or some other parenting TV show that literally have parenting experts examine families n help educate parents n their children how to behave as a family. It's funny because every time I watch that type of show, the parents are losing their minds, having total mental break downs, or yelling at their kids for everything. And u ask why? Well, because they can't handle their three or four kids. Hm, I wondered if it ever occured to them to use protection if they didn't want to have kids in the first place. That's oops #1. Oops #2, why have more than u can handle? I mean, yah it's a buffet, but it's one of those that'll cost extra for wasting food. Simple: don't have kids if u can't handle them. Period.

What I'm about to share with u is a story of the boss of a friend of mine. Don't ask how I come to know in such detail- let's just say, I had my share of her poorly-taught kids first hand. Now, many people who know me would know that when I'm dead serious, it shows. Growing up, even among my cousins, I was known to be the strict n difficult one simply because I don't cave to excuses or inappropriateness. Definitely a straight-hearted nightmare for most of them. But, of course, that's only because we're related n I strongly believe in the level of order n power that being an elder one is responsible for administring. Really, it's only because we share the same last name n I can't have u going out ruining mine. So, u can imagine "the immensity of the f*uck I do not care" about other people's kids as long as they don't get on my nerves. Except, this one wasn't particularly bright. Not only did she distrupt my conversations with another adult, she would not get out of my sight. I may have been the youngest person among the whole group of people, but that certainly does NOT qualify her to speak with me as if I'm her "peer". I may look young, but let not the eyes fool u. I could've made her so miserable for being so inappropriately present without much effort, as I've practiced for many years with my cousins. And, at more than one occasion, she yelled n spoked negatively about her mother in front of seniors. Seriously, if I were her, I would've dug a hole n jumped in. Of course, let's be real. I wouldn't've even bring my kids out into public if I couldn't handle them. That would just be setting myself up to look horrendously incapable as a parent.

Upside-Down in Queenstown- New Zealand 2011

Dear pipsqueaks,

Finally in the gym doing some proper exercise! Oh my, this is the first time back since I left for Queenstown. Seriously people, that's not a healthy example, so please do not follow. Always try to schedule some time out of ur schedule to get physical- eh hm- I mean the gym! Hm, n I just noticed they've painted the walls green in here. Not a bad color to be surrounded in during my daily keepfits- actually has a calming effect.

So anyways, it's about time to recap my trip to Queenstown before the paradise slips deep into my memories. Trust me, after work begins, all that feels like a far away dream. I do have to say though, prior to going, I didn't really have any expectations for New Zealand in general. People tell tales of their beautiful scenery n relaxing atmosphere- all of which I stubbornly insisted Vancouver would prove to top. Except, now I'm not too sure anymore. Queenstown was actually a fantabulous place, despite the fact that I was there for work. Nonetheless, even with a hectic meeting schedule spanning over a week long, I still managed to catch every opportunity to soak myself in all that Queenstown had to offer: breath-taking landscape that looked like a magnificant painting, friendly locals with never-ending hospitality spirit, n crazy outdoor experiences all at the palm of ur hands should u wish to take them. I do hope I'm at least tempting some of u to pay a visit now, because I guarantee u, if u just open ur heart to full disconnection from the rest of the world (yes, due to resort wifi connection problems, I was forced at first, then took it as faith to enjoy all of this alone), u'll understand what I mean. Plus, it was good chance to spend more time with me.