Just as some things are better left unsaid, possibly, some things are better left unknown. Why do I say that? Well, sometimes when the picture becomes too detailed, it becomes too complicated to handle. If u'd just enjoy a piece of artwork hanging on the wall as a whole, without noting its chipped frame n faded paints, it's still quite the view. Perhaps, this is how he sees all of this mess, n like it or not, neither of us can argue what's really the proper way to draw the final period of this chapter.
I've taken a glance at a biography of a famous badminton athlete that was recently lauched. Boy, was I disappointed to read the chapter called "L.O.V.E". It was, simply put, a puppy love that accompanied him through all his ups n downs. Knowing the real story behind all of these words, u'd agree he had- purposely or not- forgotten the ending to that chapter. It was left in the midst for readers to ponder what really happened. Was he hiding from the truth himself, or is he just like all the other guys who prefer just to leave it "there"? Possibly, not wanting to bring focus to an end, it allows the story to stay as it were- to amaze n awe everyone at the beauty of such an union as a whole. Possibly.
For me, no matter how the end came about, it should be communicated with a good old talk. Somewhat in line to paying the respect to that chapter in our lives as it rightly deserves. It's to come to an agreement to all that has happened, n sign the goodbye contract with a goodbye hug. Period. We can still be present in each other's lives like civilized people. Supposedly. But it is as is: my first longterm boyfriend still, after all these years, refuse to talk to me. Even when I bear only the best wishes for him, it felt as if he cannot have me in his life, or else he can't move on. Well, he's the one with a girlfriend, n if anything, he has moved on seemly just fine. Though, I don't believe we've ever actually talked it through, n that's why he's still avoiding me? Possibly.
Even though nothing of the same remained, without granting a proper summary, the story will forever seem unfinished. Selfishly, it lives on secretly in our already faded memories. Certainly a bag full of emotions I'd wish could be safely put away, except, I don't think he'll ever give me that peace as we both find it opposingly standing at two ends of the extreme. So what do we do now? Nothing. He continues to run while I go about with my life as though everything's okay. But of course, it's a big lie for me, but I do believe that day will come when he finally understands all this. Then, I'll be as always, ready to talk.
P.S. I know the wait may seem forever, but it does happen. I'm now celebrating a warming friendship with an old friend, n I don't think I've ever been happier with us (okay, maybe not. Our lunchtime "date" when he put the hearts teddy in my pocket n held my hand will always be so vividly remembered. Ah, puppy love!)
This tempts me to write a whole series of "the one that got away"...hm!
Time cannot heal all wounds; it only allows u to find it in urself to.