Out of 2019 & Into 2020

Dear Pipsqueaks,

First couple of days into 2020, and I’m still trying to figure out what the plan is for 2020. Then I remember I always think clearer when I write down my thoughts, so here I am. Before diving into the new year, we gotta do what we gotta do – reflect on the year that just slipped by.

So, 2019. Really a year full of ridiculous challenges. Including trying to get legally married in two countries, planning for life pre & post-delivery, and finding out about some things that would have taken me down a totally different path.

BUT – you know what? Life is all about challenges. The moment you figured it out, is the moment life will give you another. So celebrate the wins, big or small.


Summary of 2019

Jan: Engagement
Feb: Registration
Mar: Realization
Apr: Melaka with BFF
May: Delivery & Motherhood
June: Confinement
July: Chillax
Aug: Back to Work
Sep: Bbz 1st Trip to Taiwan
Oct: 50hr Paris Trip & Bbz 1st Trip to Macau
Nov: Chillax
Dec: 2nd Final in Guangzhou & BBz 1st Christmas / 1st time up Genting

As for 2020, I got a few things to look forward to and also a few things to check off. Still working on that list in my head, so will pen those down when they become more describable. That's it for now...

Here's to the 1st post of 2020,

Cheers!

First of 2018

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Not sure where to start this post, so I'm just gonna write.

2018 had started off kinda like the free-fall slide at Sunway Lagoon - you get into the tube and the fella gives you a thumbs up to confirm your ready, but you stand there alone not knowing when you will actually drop...and when you open your mouth to try and say something...you drop. Hard.

I've got so much emotion built up inside for the last few months maybe even longer than that, I honestly feel like I was pretty close to losing it. BUT, I didn't. I went home to Vancouver and met up with all my old school and badminton friends. It wasn't like we did anything special - had meals, walked around and spent some time catching up - yet, it seemed to fill a hole somewhere. I needed that, and I was so glad everyone just stayed the same. Just like how I remembered. Home.

Then came Chinese New Year. Well, before that happened, it was probably the closest I've gone to the cliff. Let's just say, I now have a very special feeling towards Valentine's Day. And Christmas. And New Years. It's a bit awkward because I used to love that time of the year, but now I'd rather just not go there. So please, let's fast forward to SUMMER!

Home [YVR] For The Holidays - Part I

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Currently, it's 3:35am on Christmas Day. Yes, I know I should be sleeping but I don't know why I'm wide awake. Actually, I slept pretty well last night. Only woke up for an hour and went straight back to sleep, but somehow I just can't tonight, so here I am writing.

I forgot to mention: I'm in Vancouver!

With lots of mixed emotions, I bought my ticket on Monday and hopped on the plane on Saturday. At first, I didn't want to tell anyone about my visit except for those that needed to know - Tams because she so kindly offered me to stay at hers and Ray's place; Carm & Mel because I'll be able to attend their weddings on the 6th & 7th respectively now. There's a very good reason for that. I personally don't like last minute invitations, so I don't like to do that to others. And telling them I'm in town for a couple of weeks especially during the holidays just DAYS before, it puts people on the spot to make time for me. Of course, I know those that want to see me will make time, but I just don't like to make things difficult. Not to mention, most people would have already made plans to spend their holidays with family and friends.

But, I'm lucky. I have some of the best groups of friends.

Mel and Ian came to fetch me from the airport when I arrived. It was one of the longest trips home for me - not only the actual hours of flying (19+ hours with one stop really isn't so bad compared to the travel to Peru), but having had so much time to think because I couldn't sleep at all. From KUL to HKG, I caught a movie that was really close to heart: Heartbeat Shutter 77 or 原諒他77次. It was about a couple who had been together for 10 years, but all the while had issues. At chance, the girl bought a notebook that guided her to write down every incident that she had to forgive the boy. And when she finally reached 77, she left the relationship. It brought back so many emotional tags that I had floating in my heart, and I ended up crying the next hour until we landed in HKG.

Food always cheered me up. I texted the bff and found one of the most busy airport food courts ever to have a quick bite. You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to find a seat! Luckily, as a lone traveler, I didn't need a full table, so when a single seater opened up at the bar, I parked my butt and started to eat before I over-hungered. It's always nice to have some Honger noodles - they're like comfort food for me. Nice and soupy...soupy.

Seeing that the place was so busy, I finished my noodles in 10mins so someone else could have my seat. Upon arriving at my gate, I found a power point and charged my phone while waiting to board. Scheduled boarding time was 3:40pm, which was about another 15mins wait. When time was near, everyone started to line up only to be told by the gate crew to go back to their seats as we won't be boarding yet. Then, the news.

A father came walking back to his family who were standing next to me and told everyone that the flight had been delayed from 4:10pm until 6:10pm. You could hear the sigh loud and clear. Next thing you know, a bunch of people went up to the counter to ask about their connecting flights. It wasn't until I received an email from Cathay about the departure that the gate crew made the announcement about the delay. About bloody time. Oh, did I mention that they had already changed gate once? So I had to run like a mad woman across HKG airport to the new gate only to find out we were delayed. Sigh. AND AND AND - with the announcement, told us that our boarding pass will be able to validate HKD75 worth of food for dinner. Thanks, AFTER I already ate.

Anyway, since I had a load of time, I went to check out a few shops and topped up my number of steps for the day. By boarding time, I had about 9k. Not bad if I must say so myself. It was nice spending about 4hrs with you HKG. Ciao~

Well, we waited for a good hour on the plane before taking off, so technically 5hrs...

The next 11.5hours was so difficult to get through. I couldn't sleep a wink, so I watched about 10 episodes of my drama.

Okay, feeling sleepy at 4:27am. Will continue to write when I have time~
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM VANCOUVER!

Sleepless Night

Dear Pipsqueaks,

It's 1.21am and I can't fall asleep. Perhaps it was the Americano that I shouldn't have had at 10.30pm. Or something else, but I'm hoping it was the first.

Sure feels like a long time since I reflected on how I'm doing: when I say that, I mean taking a good look at where I am physically, mentally and emotionally.

Probably easier to assess my physical status: I feel better than I did at the beginning of the year. Definitely got more energy to do this and that now that I'm sleeping earlier (obviously not counting tonight). Actually, I was quite proud of my lifestyle pre- Puma and YOLO runs. I managed to get out of bed at 6.30am to run for 40minutes, stretch, shower, breakfast and ready for work. It does sound a bit crazy now that I think about it, but it was a good habit and I really want to get back into that routine. But, maybe I'll give myself a couple of days to recover from all the traveling. It also doesn't help that my heel pain is back, so will rest up before jumping back into training. Aside from the heel injury, I feel I'm overall in good health.

Mentally, I'm also in a better place than I was a year ago. Sifting through old notes, I could feel the frustration and hopelessness back in 2016. It was a year where I felt weak, but also a year that I learned how to be stronger. To focus on doing what I do best and forget the rest. As I always said, "when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up." So up I went and never looked back. Well, I look back - only to see how far I've come.

The Mind vs. The Heart

What feels like a sleepless night
The mind knocks on the heart
Asking questions to pick a fight
When the heart only wants to depart

It's not a simple one to answer
For I also know stories of his past
So it's no wonder
My dear ones are understandably aghast

I know and truly appreciate the love
That everyone has shown me
Constantly remind me to stay above
For nothing is for certain or a guarantee

Circumstances put all at halt
I can only try to see beyond fault
Like a boat drifting along
Nothing else I can do but stay strong

Trust that fate shall carry me through
Trust that patience will pay what's due
Trust that time is on my side
Trust that love can be our guide

I do feel the pressure at times
To actually know what's to take place
But no one can guess the results
Until the end of the invisible race

Perhaps it's just to set a date
For the mind to keep the wait
As we set sail for Northern Lights state
Is when I will finally call checkmate

When the hourglass runs out
Know that this is true
My heart has been there for you
Evolve or erase, who shall be who to who

Year of Happiness

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Honestly speaking, I did see half of these proposals coming. But, they still make me tear a bit seeing them come true. First, in Feb, my distant cousin Wendy (I say that because her last name is also Sung). In May, my highschool friend Carmen who still remains very close even though we rarely see each other. In June, one of my closest friends Tania who's just an amazing amazing person. In July, my childhood Moles teacher and BFF Tamzie. In Aug, one of my sister's friends who makes time to see me when I'm back in TPE and is just a super nice person Jeannie; and just a few days ago, an old badminton friend Toby proposed to his long time girlfriend Carmen in London.

Actually, now come to think of it, all these relationships have been long ones. And that's why it means so much more to see it come to fruition. I don't think I've been there for most of their ups and downs but I've heard enough to know it certainly weren't easy. Every relationship has their challenges, and I'm just glad they were able to make it through together.

Time really flies, and now I'm marrying off more than half of my close girlfriends. A little hard to admit it's all really happening, but hey I'm a proud friend. Look how far we've come - a childhood full of memories. I suppose it just feels like I'm gonna lose them to married life, but I know it's just me being me. I'm sure they'll still make time for me. Here's to our childhood - from girls to ladies to wives-to-be...

-Wendy-

難.過

雖然已經住進他心裡
但不時會感到存在的妳
復雜的思緒難整理
應不應該繼續
我也很想有個底
是否等待會往期待的方向前進
揮之不去的是他們的点点滴滴
慢慢得抹去我應有的信心
何時才能讓心平静
但不忍給他任何壓力
是堅持還是放棄
誰能就告訴我目的地
終点在哪何處去
還是别去打擾他的心
默默的畫下句
他和她
還是不變的結局

Never Stop Moving: Puma & YOLO

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Still walking around like a zombie because I can't really bend my legs, but overall quite alive. So what happened this weekend? Well, yous truly decided to take on a super random challenge of running both the Puma Night Run and the YOLO Run...back to back night and day.

Puma Night Run on the Saturday night; YOLO Run on the Sunday morning. Logic: Using the Puma Run to warm up for YOLO. Which actually, turned out to be completely opposite.

Let's just say, that wasn't the smartest decision I've ever made, but I did enjoy the whole 'trying something for the first time'. Picking up your runners pack, then reaching the festive area just to warm up with other runners. We even zumba-ed a little before the run on Sunday. It wasn't about winning or trying to beat anyone - it was just to participate in something. And I quite miss that kind of experience. Perhaps, it's because of my job where I'm mostly the one planning or organising that I don't really get to be a part of the fun. Not to say that there's no fun in organising but you know what I mean.

So yes, I actually ran the whole Puma 6km except for when I had to fight for a cup of water at the water station. Literally had way too many hands going for the same cup, so I had to stop and look for a free cup. No worries though, was back in pace right after. I managed to finish 6km in 48min32sec (ranked 136 in Open Female category). Definitely better than I expected!

The One That Got Away

Dear Pipsqueaks,

This one is going back to university days! Okay, so here's what happened. A friend of mine sent a link around in a group chat, and as usual I watched it. To my surprise, it was a clip of someone from the past. Someone that fit 'The One That Got Away'.

Rewind back to 2009 - through a close friend of mine, I met him. Tall, baby face and had a big smile. Loved playing video games and riding motorbike. Actually, I came to know him because of his motorbike injury. That same close friend had wanted to pay him a visit and asked if I wanted to go together, so I said okay. We went by his house for a quick chat and to be honest until this day I have no idea what happened. I just fell right in.

I still remember trying to rush this birthday present for him - a scrapbook page full of his motorbike photos and of his friends with lots of stickers and text. I can't recall where I placed the photo I took of it, but trust me, it was one of the finest handcrafted page I've made. Definitely TLC. Around 11:30pm the night before, I gave him a quick text to make sure he wasn't asleep, drove to his place (from Burnaby to VanWest was probably a good 20mins without traffic), surprised him with the frame and left.

Belated 6th Anniversary

Dear Pipsqueaks,

I know, I know it's been closer to two months since my 6th anniversary at this office. I had thought about what I wanted to write, but so many things have happened since that sometimes it's easier just to move on. Move on from what, you ask? Lots of downs. Actually, more downs than ups these last couple of years but that's also why I've chosen just to keep going and not look back.

So many times, I've felt my heels were at the edge of the cliff with unknown space behind me, and sometimes absolute depression. But if you know me well enough, I won't let myself stay there for long. I've found my way out of that quick sand and am now quite content. Suppose I've figured out the right attitude to have when facing work? Whatever it is, it's working so I'm going to keep at it.

Around The Corner

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Thank Goodness It's Friday! Sure feels like lots had happened since I last updated, so I'm not quite sure what I'd shared and what I haven't, but will share what I can remember.

Firstly, a close friend of mine had gone into surgery early this week and now is recovering well. That's always good to hear, and an even bigger motivation to keep myself in good health. Yes, I've been doing a lot more running but I'm not sure if my right knee and left ankle can handle this weight (haha, ironic that I need them to lose this weight first in order to lighten the load!) But so far so good! The only worry is that for the 3/4 of August, I'll be on the move. So not sure how to keep this level up, but will find a way! As they say, "Where there is a will, there is a way!"

About turning 30 - I'm not quite sure what to think of it, and perhaps it's not that big of a deal as I thought it would be. Actually, I don't feel any different than when I celebrated my 25th. But I suppose it should be important - in that I officially am OLD. I won't be able to play the cute card as innocently as I used to, haha. Just kidding, I'd still try my hand anyway: there will be takers!

SOPs

Dear Pipsqueaks,

I know I've written something back in 2012 about 'Lead by Example', and I suppose this is somewhat similar to that theme, but more so setting an example to be followed. Why is it so important to decide on the way forward and stick with it? Well, that's what will make or break the future of any operation.

SOPs = Standard Operating Procedure

Companies have SOPs. Schools have SOPs. Sports teams have SOPs. Even families have SOPs. Why do we have them? It's so we don't spend the same amount of time if not more dwelling on the same question every single time it comes up. It's just not worth all that time to have the same discussion about the same topic over and over. If the topic were a person, then it would have been an overkill for every talk were a stab. Honestly, it doesn't need to be that complicated.

Best time to set an SOP = when the issue first arises.

Mothers & Knocked Up

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Not sure whether that was a nightmare or what, but after waking up, now I can't get back to sleep so I'm just going to write until the rest of the world wakes up.

Perhaps the two had some correlation but I'll let you decide.

So just before I went to shower for bed, mama was in my room flipping through my closet asking what I'd bring to this mini trip we're going on. Because it was past midnight, I just wanted her to get to bed first and I'll sort out the rest. "Mama, I'm turning 30. I can pack myself." She said okay while closing all the doors she opened and quietly left my room.

You have no idea how guilty I felt. I thought about how she carried me for 10 months & took care of me since...and I knew I shouldn't have said that to her. It must have been painful to hear, even though it was the truth. Let's face it, no parent wants to feel like their kid doesn't need them anymore. But we grow up and old despite them wanting to take care of us forever. Even so, I think we still need to give them a sense of being needed - always. So here's to NEVER saying something so hurtful to my parents ever again. If she wants to pack for me, then I'm gonna let her do all of it. If that's what makes her happy - that's a done deal for me.

Mount Kota Kinabalu

Dear Pipsqueaks,

The saying goes...
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Well, try 40,000 steps to cover 16km...up and down Mount KK. Honestly can't feel my legs. But what an experience! It's somewhat hard to describe what was going on through my mind the whole climb. 'What did I get myself into?' 'Why did I pay for this pain?' 'Where IS that damn peak?' All sorts of thoughts. That feeling of endless walking and walking and walking without knowing how far more to go is one of the most scariest feelings ever. Probably because there are no other option than to keep walking.

(READY, SET & GO!)

(It begins here - at Timpohon Gate)

CNY2017: 2nd Day

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Another early wake just to meet up with my mom's side at granny's place 7am sharp. Of course, that was such an unlikely time for us since we were easily 45mins away, so we had to wake up at 5.45am. Urgh. Let's not forget that I slept around 2am...

But so, we forced ourselves out of bed to leave the house at 6.15, and picked up my favourite "fantuan" - which literally translates to rice ball. It comes in both savoury and sweet, but I always prefer sweet. With a cup of hot milk tea...yum!

Then, we spent the next 4 hours on the road driving to the very south tip of Taiwan. I don't remember it being such a long time, but I did sleep most of the way...

After a delicious lunch, 20mins on the ferry and 10mins scooter, we arrived at our stay for the next 3 nights. Honestly too tired to head out but we couldn't miss the sunset, so we rode out to the well known viewpoint to wait for the sunset.

Sunsets are always beautiful. Now, going to play some dice with the family!

PS. The 2nd day of Chinese New Year is when the daughters return to their home to spend some time with their family. This is when grandma is most happy =)

CNY2017: New Year's Day

Dear Pipsqueaks,

With an 8am call, I was downstairs ready to go by 8.30am only to find out mama hasn't finished preparing breakfast and le sister was still asleep. So I watched TV for an hour before anything was actually happening. Don't get me wrong - I'd love to help out in our tiny kitchen. It's just the belief that every kitchen can only accommodate one chef, so better I just stay out of her way for her to go turbo. At least I helped with the washing...

After we finished breakfast, we began our traditional walk every New Year's Day - a visit to the 4 temples. The literal translation is "walk spring", which to others and in ancient times be treated as a walk to greet other family members and friends. Just a way to start the new year. There are tons of other traditions we do during this holiday season, which unfortunately I doubt I'd be able to completely pass on to my children. I note a few every year, but just the food preparation itself is enough for a full term university course. Don't even start on the rest!

Anyway, the walk ended at a cafe shop (we would normally never go to this one except all the previous 5 were closed), and we clocked in at 7000ish steps. That was enough for us to call it a day...at 1.30pm.

Of course not. We quickly went home and packed for the trip down south. It didn't take me long to do mine since I came in a luggage, but the rest of them...all I can say is, I've found a group that'd match the 'mou-ness' of my housemate. 'Mou' meaning to take an excessive amount of time to do something. So we didn't leave the house until close to 5:45pm. I even hung the clothes and took out the trash while waiting. This is when I thank the inventor of the modern TV so I could be at least somewhat entertained.

The drive down to midlands was surprisingly clear despite all the road reports of 30km/hr speeds. We even stopped by a rest area for dinner and still managed to reach around 8pm. Not bad eh for a new year's day drive that normally takes around 3~4 hours.

When we reached the old house, you could see how the weeds have grown into the drive way down into the valley. The place, which used to house the family business, has been in this obsolete state for more than a decade. Around the same time when grandpa passed away, if I remember it right. I suppose that's what happens when the head of the family leaves? The rest loses their sense of unity, even if it's only by a slight. That's enough to widen the already existing gap caused by the family business.

All the change could be seen by looking at this family house. This amazing 4 floor, 14 rooms, 11 washroom, and 5 living room space family house was a proud product of my papa's creation. I still remember the first time we visited when the building was in construction. Every corridor hinted a new adventure. And how each space was connected to one another, it really made a house into a home.

It was a magnificent view during its golden days. Like a fortress, it holds well many of my childhood memories. Many firsts here. But like us, this home aged...and not in a good way. Cracked tiles, broken doors and clogged pipes. A sad condition for something that had once been such an inspiring place.

Maybe it's a good thing we're going to revamp the whole valley. It doesn't deserve how it's being treated now, so better let it go. At least the memories remain cheerful.

A quick chat with my cousin, we called it a night at 2am. Early wake tomorrow to meet up with mama's side of the family.

Happy New Year!

CNY2017: New Year's Eve

Dear Pipsqueaks,

You can't imagine how many things need to be done for the new years in my house. By the time le sister and I had walked out for our first meal (which was about 11ish), my parents were on their way back home already. They were hands full with groceries and a whole bunch of stuff. And you guessed it, mama had sent out a list earlier on the things she wanted us to bring home on our outing. Our run-in was another chance for her to remind us all the things that still need to be done...GREAT. All while we were still hungry.

But luckily we ran into them. We found out that our top two choices for brunch were not open. Go figures, but okay. At least we didn't waste time walking all the way over there to find out. We re-routed to the market and had dumplings there instead. Surprisingly delicious and totally something to try, this shop is on the 2nd floor of the Ren-ai wet market. They have 4 kinds of dumplings and all made onsite. Don't mind the coloring - it's natural coloring from the ingredients. Worth the try if you're in the area.

(San Bao - a combo of all their dumplings!)

CNY2017: Pamper Day

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Not sure why that is, but every time I come back, my sister and I just have SO many things to do that we could be out ALL day. One of the must-dos is getting a hair treatment in. A friend-recommended, Happy Hair Professional was one of the salons with the best service I've been to. They served drinks upon arrive, locked storage for your items, a separate quite room for hair spa, and a scalp scan to check how clean your scalp is. Not to mention the hair treatment packages they offer. They even have a package that's similar to a mixture of Thai Massage and guasha for the head. I actually fell asleep twice during the treatment, which never happens. So yes, great service. And they have blankets for you to keep warm if your cold in your seat! I would definitely make another appointment there during my next visit home - totally recommended.

(my super pampered hair!)

CNY2017: Doctors' Visits

Dear Pipsqueaks,

Definitely one of the longest 'first days' back ever in the history of visits. The day started around 5:30am when my mama came knocking on the door to wake me up. Yes, you read correctly - 5:30am. Why? Because le sister arrived back from Vancouver. Half awake, I rolled myself out of the comfy bed, brushed up and was down in 5mins. Didn't even care too much about what the heck I was wearing as we're going to the hospital for a follow up after the airport.

The only thing was that my parents actually picked out the wrong person at the waiting area thinking it was my sister. Can't believe these two! How can they not know which is their daughter?! Sigh. Anyhoos, I told le sister and she gave them a piece of her mind for thinking she was that larger girl in the front.

By then, it was about 8am and still loads of time before my doctors' appointments. We decided to hang out by 7-11 as the area the hospital was located in was just too confusing. Kind of like Sunway, this Chang Gung Memorial Hospital is a few buildings in their own territory of land. They have research and technology buildings as well as medical training facilities. Just a huge medical park basically. Not to mention, they simply did not make any plans for transport - we literally jammed all the way in and out of the medical park. I wonder if they ever thought about how ambulances are going to make it to the emergency through these jams?

CNY2017: Arrival

Dear Pipsqueaks,

The day started very early - for me anyway - at 5:30am. Not to mention I only got to bed around 1am. But yes, I had to wake up to wrap all the chocolates in the fridge so they'd stay cold enough until I reach Taipei. Didn't want them to melt out of shape, would we?! After finishing up with packing, I literally had 5 minutes to change into my clothes before heading down to meet Mr. Goh aka my taxi driver.

I like my taxi driver. He's a morning person so he's quite cheery when he sees me for these morning flights. We'd chat for a little while, then he'd let me doze off into my own little world - either listening to music or taking a short nap. It's never for long though because he takes his driving very seriously. We left my place around 7am, expecting to arrive around 8am with the morning traffic. You know when we arrived? 7:38am.

It only took me 5 minutes to check in, and by 7:45am, I was wandering what to do to kill 1hr15mins before having to board my flight at 9am. Which of course wasn't the real boarding time - try 9:30am. So yes, I made a loop around KLIA2, and to my surprise, most shops were already open for business by then. Quite unusual in comparison to the 10am-10pm hours in the city. Anyway, I was already carrying too much, so I wasn't in the mood to buy anything else.